Sunday, November 8, 2009

November 8, 2009

Well it's been a pretty long time since I posted and I'm having a rough weekend and just need a place to vent.

Tim's been pretty cold today and it's getting the best of me. I worry that I'm going to need to go back on the depression drugs and I really don't want to do that. There doesn't seem to be a day that I don't cry anymore.

I get that he is at his limits with Zach, it's a neverending story there. If it's not one thing its another with him. No matter what we do to try to make Zach's life good, it's not good enough of he is going to sabatoge it. This in turn frustrates Tim and makes him pretty cold and mean towards me. And I just can't deal with it anymore. No matter how much I try to understand what Tim's going through with Zach he just can't seem to see that I can't take this anymore. More and more I wonder if Tim is just unhappy with me in general and is trying to find a way to make me leave. I will not let another marriage fail, it's just not going to happen.

I just wish I knew what else I could do to try to help Tim through this. I've pushed and pushed him to do the right thing and now it's like he's resenting me for it. I have brought up multiple times for him to go to talk to someone that may be able to help him figure this all out but he doesn't do it.

I'm tired and I am mentally exhausted. I just wish I knew what to do.