Sunday, November 8, 2009

November 8, 2009

Well it's been a pretty long time since I posted and I'm having a rough weekend and just need a place to vent.

Tim's been pretty cold today and it's getting the best of me. I worry that I'm going to need to go back on the depression drugs and I really don't want to do that. There doesn't seem to be a day that I don't cry anymore.

I get that he is at his limits with Zach, it's a neverending story there. If it's not one thing its another with him. No matter what we do to try to make Zach's life good, it's not good enough of he is going to sabatoge it. This in turn frustrates Tim and makes him pretty cold and mean towards me. And I just can't deal with it anymore. No matter how much I try to understand what Tim's going through with Zach he just can't seem to see that I can't take this anymore. More and more I wonder if Tim is just unhappy with me in general and is trying to find a way to make me leave. I will not let another marriage fail, it's just not going to happen.

I just wish I knew what else I could do to try to help Tim through this. I've pushed and pushed him to do the right thing and now it's like he's resenting me for it. I have brought up multiple times for him to go to talk to someone that may be able to help him figure this all out but he doesn't do it.

I'm tired and I am mentally exhausted. I just wish I knew what to do.

Monday, July 20, 2009

July 20, 2009

Okay I slacked off a bit on getting a post in but hopefully I can catch everything up on this post. Been a little since I posted so I have a lot of stuff to update.

First off we had Brandon's 1st birthday party on June 28th. The weekend before his actual birthday but seeing as how his birthday is the 4th of July I figured that it would be easier to get everyone together the weekend before. It was pretty warm outside so by the time we got to the whole cake part of the party he was pretty tired and just didn't get into tearing into the cake. But he did a pretty darn good job trying!! Brandon got a ton of new toys and clothes and I think he had a lot of fun (as much as a 1 year old can I suppose). A tradition that Tim and I are trying to start is to take a picture of Brandon the exact minute that he is born each year. We have a picture that was taken at exactly 3:50pm when he was born so I took another picture this year at 3:50pm on July 4th. Now, if he had been born at 2am we may not be able to pull this one off! LOL. Since we had his birthday party before his actual birthday I went ahead and baked a cake on Brandon's birthday and let Brandon have a slice all of his own. Granted using red velvet may not have been the BEST decision but it was very well worth it!!! So very hard to believe that my baby boy is a year old already!

I have been taking a class on how to do hardanger. This is the picture of the first lesson and I have to get the picture of the 2nd lesson uploaded yet. We've been having some problems with the camera talking to the computer so I have to use the laptop to upload any pictures at all. I am really liking how the blue looks with the cream colored floss.....I'm so excited to go on to the next step.

The next picture is of my latest finish. I did this same pattern in brown and pink and then was asked to do it in brown and cream for another couple getting married. I was afraid that the cream metallic floss was too yellow but Rosemary was very happy with the finished result. I am waiting for her to send me a picture of the last one I did for her after it was framed. I'm very glad to hear that it was a very well recepted gift. I will most likely be doing at least one more of this project as a woman at work has asked me to do it for her and her wife's wedding which was a year and a half ago. Their colors were "pool" and silver so it'll be diffferent than doing Brown again! LOL

I think that's all of the picutres that I've uploaded. :)

This last weekend Tim had Sunday off so we took the boys down to see his family in West Virginia. It was a very nice trip and Tim's aunt Cindy was able to organize everyone to get together at the city park instead of us going to 3 different houses while we are down there. It made life so much easier for us, esp for Brandon because it would have been a lot on him. We did find his mom and that was about a fiasco......she didn't remember when Zachary's birthday was, how old he was, Brandon's name, Brandon's birthday nor my name. She was more concerned about if my fingernails were real or not. So needless to say we did NOT stay very long!!!

Alright I've got stuff to do. I promised Tim that I would make him some cookies so I think I'm going to go start getting them made. :)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

June 24, 2009

Just two more days of work for the week.....thank goodness! I am so sick of sitting next to tweedle dee and tweedle dum! I am going to start counting down the minutes soon!!!

JCPenny is a bunch of idiots. They told me to pick up my photos yesterday, Tim forgot so he called them and rescheduled to today. He goes in and they tell him they won't be in until tomorrow. He was expressing his "dissatisfication" with them and the woman said "we can't do anything about it, call corporate" and walked away. So he gets the Assistant Manager of the store and he goes over to the portrait studio and finds out when Tim called to reschedule they never even looked (that would have been the time to tell him it would be tomorrow) at the schedule and the manager told them not to touch our account (if you call it that) and he was going to have the General Manager call Tim tomorrow. Not 20 minutes later the idiot who spoke to Tim called me ripping me apart telling me I needed to look at my receipt and that the manager is there to talk to her (convinently she wasn't there when Tim was at the store). So Tim calls the Assistant Manager and lets him know of the crappy phone conversation that I just had and the AM is LIVID as are Tim and myself. 100% sure I will never deal with them again! and the receipt where the girl wrote on it says "Tues 6/25".......UGH!!

So that's my frustration for the day.....I just am so beyond frustrated, it would be nice if I could find a good RELIABLE photo studio that doesn't charge me an arm and a leg but yet did quality pictures. Target has done a great job but they are pretty "cookie cutter" if you know what I mean and I want something outside of the box. Oh well......on to brighter subjects.

Brandon's birthday party is this weekend and I am so excited! Saturday evening I have to go get the cakes and I will probably pick Zachary up at the same time. I cannot wait to see all of my family and friends! And for them to all join in sharing Brandon's first birthday party celebration!!!!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

June 21, 2009......Father's Day

Ugh.....I had a huge blog post all laid out and I hit the delete key! grrrrr

Alright well here we go again.

Happy Father's Day to all the daddys, uncles, grandfathers and just men that have been an influence on a childs life!!!

Today we went up to my parents house for Father's Day and did a nice cookout. We had Zach take his super soakers so once all the kids had ate they went outside and just hosed each other with them! It was pretty funny to watch (until my brother's oldest decided he didn't want to share) but it was very much worth taking them up there. I just wish we had more than 2 of them, that way they all would have had one. The kids were dripping wet the whole time and more than one adult got a little wet. Even my mom decided to hose my sister, that was pretty darn funny. Grandma King came as well and it is always nice to see her.

As far as my cross stitching goes I haven't touched it all weekend! Maybe I'll get a chance to do it tonight some, which I really should because I have the Disney Princesses RR that I have to get done! Tim is going to be giving Brandon a bath here in a few so once that's all done and he is in bed I'm hoping to get some time. I will try to take my weekly picture of my Passione Ricamo piece. She's coming along very well and I'm glad to say that I'm seeing the finish line at this point. I have a piece to do for HAED so once that's done my plan is to go ahead and start my Halloween piece! I have to get some specialty floss for it so once I do that I'll be good to go. I love the fact that I have stocked up this long! Tomorrow I'm going to be running off a couple of copies of my Spiderman patterns so I can share one with my sister and another with a friend from the Disney group. I have decided that once I stitch something once I will not stitch it again. So I have some patterns that I am going to place up for sale.

Well I'm going to head off here for now, hopefully my next post won't be so far coming!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

June 18, 2009

I haven't blogged in a few days so I figure I need to do a bit of catching up.

Tim and I have been fighting a lot lately, and I'm just not sure what's going on. It's so frustrating because he can't see that by being negative constantly is really starting to get between us. There isn't a conversation that we have had that he's not had some kind of negative comment to make. It's very frustrating and I'm pretty darn tired of it. I know I'm bull-headed and stubborn, I get that. But I've done my best to try to do what he has asked. The major thing he asked me is to not scream and curse, okay I get that. I have a very bad mouth at times and I'm willing to admit that. So I try my hardest to remain calm but then I ask him to please stop being negative about every little thing......he doesn't even try. I'm also a little burnt out on being the only individual in this house that feels the need to clean, and it's pretty darn tiring. I'm not going to be like most women out there and think that it's my "job" to clean house and he has his "jobs" like mowing the yard and stuff like that. It doesn't work like that anymore ladies. Time to step it up and see that everything is equal anymore. Ugh, I really hate that. But anyway I finally told him that he needs to cut back on the time he sits in his recliner playing on the laptop (and we're talking he will do it for 4-5 hours at a time and only get up to go to the bathroom). His response to me is that we just need to get rid of the laptop. Can we not be anymore juvenille about this? How about we grow up, act like an adult and just NOT spend all day and all night on it. The other night he was up until 230 in the morning playing on the laptop, then did it 3 days in a row! It's beyond frustrating and I'm not sure what else I can tell him to make him understand.

On a lighter note I'm back to stitching on my Passione Ricamo piece. She's coming along really well and I am thinking that I am over the 1/2 way mark now. Got 2/3's done on her dress and am working on the actual arbour. She's going to be so pretty when she's done. Next up is going to be a Halloween piece. I've never stitched Halloween before but am very excited to do so.

I just got home from work and laid Brandon down for a nap but from the sounds of it he's not thinking that he needs a nap. so I'm going to hop off here and get him before I start the house work!

See ya's!

Sunday, June 14, 2009

June 14, 2009.......part 2

Well we got the new desk in and all situated. It's really nice, has some scuff marks since it is used but that doesn't matter to me at all. It took me a while to get everything sorted out and plugged in right, we just have too much stuff that all needs plugged into one computer. Thankfully Jim was able to come down and help us get the desk, it was just not going to fit in the van. I can't get over how big Ethan has gotten, he just talks talks talks now. And apparently he's going to come see me tomorrow. LOL. Missed the little guy.

Tim has been pretty irritating all day, I'm not sure what his deal is. Actually it's been pretty much all weekend. I'm just not wanting to deal with his attitude. Some things are going to have to change fast..........I'm tired of doing all the compromising and he stays his good ole self. Not the way it works at all.

The house is ALMOST totally clean and ready for the party. I have most of the laundry put away upstairs. I need to take some time and get Brandon's room all put together. He's not very old so he doesn't really have much stuff. Zach's room really needs work so Saturday while Tim is working we're going to work on getting his room put together.

So all in all it's been a nice weekend. I've gotten a lot done in a short amount of time. Not nearly as much as I need to do but it's a start. I've still got some laundry to get done but it's actually all caught up except for what we're wearing. that doesn't happen much! Some little things left to accomplish but it's never all done.

Off to pop some tylenol now, my body HURTS!!

June 14, 2009

Well it's been a nice weekend so far. Friday night Brandon and I went and had dinner with my sister and neice. We went to a chinese buffet and it was pretty good. Brandon was his normal flirty self. That boy is something else for sure. We then decided to go to the Dollar Tree and I picked up a few nice things. I found a Janet Evanovich book and a really nice gift bag for whatever I end up getting Princess for her baby shower. I know, a bag before the gift is a bit odd!!! LOL. Then we went over and visited with Grandma King for a while. We felt bad that it was so late when we were there but I think she gets lonely at night so she enjoyed the visit.

Then on the way home I did the nice thing and talked with Jim. I met his new wife and she is very sweet and 100% the kind of girl he would totally go for. We talked for a bit but I will admit it was strained, I know now he has my phone number, so lets see if he uses it. I miss having him around, and really wish he would get to know my son better. But, as his mom and I discussed, he needs to make an effort. I put the first foot forward and it's time for him to take the next step.

Saturday Tim and I thought it would be fun to go out to some yard sales. We sadly didn't find much but that could be because there are still a lot of graduation parties going on right now. We went to one sale that had a lot of stuff for Zach so he got some new clothes that will be great for when he starts school. We are banking that we will have custody of him so we're buying what we can now before waiting till the last minute. (Tim is planning on asking the court to allow Zachary to have his belongings from his mothers but we'll see if that happens) We found more at the Goodwill than we did at yard sales. Tim bought a bunch of baseball cards at one sale that he is hoping to get Zach started with collecing. I also found a Seal A Meal for $5 and I've been wanting one of those. So I'm going to go get some of the bags this afternoon. We then went to the Homer Fire Departments Chicken BBQ and I saw two of the girls that I used to babysit. So odd when one of the kids you babysat stands and holds your baby. And not to mention she's married! Miss those girls to death and it was so great to see both of them!

Today Brandon got up at around 8, I usually give him a bottle right when he gets up so he sucked that down but then fell right back to sleep! So he slept until 11. I laid in bed for a while reading One for the Money by Janet Evanovich then decided that I was going to get up and get some cleaning done. I made a pretty good dent on the kitchen when Tim came down and went to mow the yard while it was still cool outside. I got some reorganizing of the pantry done and ran the carpet cleaner over 3 of the cushions of the couch/loveseat. So I'm feeling productive.

I am having a Lia Sophia party on the 20th at 6:30 so that's what a lot of the cleaning is all about. I really want the house to look nice when some of my firends come.

Alright well I'm off to get stuff done.........I have to go get copies made so I can mail out Brandon's birthday party invites! :)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

June 11, 2009

Felling pretty darn good today. People at work annoyed me but that's about normal anymore. Let me give all you bloggers out there a tip, just for future reference. If you have to call your insurance company, it's a pretty good assumption that you are going to need your ID number which 99% of the time is on that card they send you! And if you are calling about a claim, it's also another good assumption that you should know at least something about that claim that can help the person on the phone at the insurance company find what you are talking about. Just a tip!!

I got off work at the normal time today so Brandon and I (cause he can make decisions right?) decided to go to the goodwill. I found myself a couple pair of jeans and a pair of shorts. Now I might add that I do NOT ever, ever wear shorts. Plus I found myself a couple shirts which I have been desperately needing. But these were longer than normal shorts. I found Brandon a cute windsuit outfit, a couple shirts, and a really cute pair of brown sandles. All for under $25! A pretty good day if you ask me!

So tonight I'm cooking dinner, which is a rare situation anymore. Tim works late usually and it's not really something I want to do when it's just Brandon and I. So we're having sausage gravy, hash browns & eggs tonight. Probably going to make some biscuits too.

Oh I have another cross stitch finish! I did this for Rosemary in California. I hope she likes it though, I'm waiting on word on if she has any changes for me to make! Now it's a pretty crappy picture though cause I took it with my cell!!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

June 7, 2009

So we had a pretty good day today. Tim and I decided last night to try and take Zachary to see "Night at the Museum Battle of the Smithsonian" for making Honor Roll at school. So I asked my sister to babysit and she agreet so that was our goal for the day. Brandon didn't get up until 10 so it was a bit rushed to get out of the house. Zach was in 7th heaven going to get to see a movie with just us and no Brandon. After the movie we went over to WalMart to let Zach pick out a toy up to $20. He gets 2 super-soaker squirt guns.........of course him and dad had to try them out tonight!

We made a visit to see Grandma while we were in town, I feel bad that I don't live closer but we're pretty happy where we are.

I've got Brandon's birthday party invites done! And they are so Elmo.

Off for some stitching now!!

Saturday, June 6, 2009

June 6, 2009

I really am pretty bad at updateing this but I'm going to work to get better.

Today Brandon and I went to a graduation party for my little cousin Jessica. Well I guess she's not so little anymore right? It made me feel so old, there's 12 years between us and I babysat her my entire summer one year when I was 16. She's grown up to be such a beautiful girl! Hopefully I get to see more of her in the couple weeks. I believe she is going to be attending the jewelry party that I'm having on the 20th of the month and hopefully she'll be coming to Brandon's first birthday party. He behaved like such a good little man, for it being so hot and him not being able to crawl around much. He didn't much like Dutchess licking his face or talking to him, go figure.

I've had a LOT of cross stitch finishes here lately. Here they are in date order too

2/28/09 - a bell pull that needs to be "finished"

3/22/09 - This is part 2 of a RR that I did

4/22/09 - Melissa asked me to do this one for the family of a friend that had lost a loved one to cancer

4/27/09 - This is a square that I did for Cole's Quilts, children suffering from and/or that have died of Spinal Muscular Atrophy

5/1/09 - yet another square for Cole's Quilt

5/6/09 - This is my baby's birth announcement
5/16/09 - Tim requested this one